Not because I have't had anything to say. I've had a ton of things happen in that time away.
I started a new job; it's awesome. I won 3rd Place in Canada in sporting and first place in the Duel Dual with my Canadian twin Kat. I taught my first official Barkleigh seminar, I'm gearing up for my first webinar, planning a few speaking gigs for next year... It's been busy. As much excitement and hubbub and general forward motion I've been making though, I feel like I'm further away from my goal many days. I have all these wonderful things distracting me, things that have and will enhance my career, but are at the same time pulling me in different directions. Pulling me to places and things I want to go and do, but much like Robert Frost I know if I go to far down one path I will never double back.
That is not to say that the paths of which I am faced with are completely segregated. I just know from looking around that others have been drawn down these roads too before and changed their destinations...
The problem I am faced with is what everyone is faced with; Time and energy are our most valuable assets. They are so finite, and easy to squander, and people and situations are always trying to steal them from us...
So when do we decide to pass or seize an opportunity?
I know it makes sense to grab them as they come, while your star is burning brightest, but observing others I see what that has done... What has these amazing opportunities truly cost them?
I've lamented, and even sobbed over the fact that I have "lost out" or not been given the same opportunities; I've been jealous and hurt at times over the way things have "played out". But this year with all the buzz and angst and hashtags I realized that sometimes an opportunity is actually an obligation in disguise.
An opportunity opens a door and allows more freedom to pursue, to learn to grow... It doesn't make a claim on your time or energy without giving back towards your personal goal.
An obligation compensates; after all, an obligation wants your energy and time to grow not yourself, but the thing. It wants your energy to feed itself, and pays a measly sum for that most precious of resources; energy and time.
I've spent a good portion of this year figuring out which is which while trying to stay on my path while processing the tremendous amount of growth I've undergone. I've said yes to obligations I realized too late I was not willing to meet. But I've also taken advantage of opportunities that Opened doors for me, and continue to push me forward.
I am both relieved and saddened that the competition year is coming to close, but I'm also ready to take a deep breath again, to fall back into a routine, and recharge for next year and all its new opportunities.